The Ghunsa Khole eats your clothes
15 Nov 2007
A Himalayan tale of woe by Sue Viccars
The mighty Gunsa Khola flows
From Himalayan top to toes
A thunderous force o'er rocks and falls
It whirls and swirls and all enthrals
But something no one really knows
Is why it keeps on eating clothes.
Knickers, woolly hats and socks
Get thrashed and bashed upon the rocks
Thermals, vests, odd trekking poles
Icebreakers, tights, boots without soles
Strong men who grasp their Y-fronts tight
Cannot resist the river's might
Innocent trekkers on the shore
Oft lose their trousers, sometimes more
Unwary porters washing hair
Get sucked in – then spat out – quite bare.
One sun-kissed eve a Kentish maid
(A trifle high it must be said
A week on trek with little soap
Had caused her trek mates oft to choke)
Gently trod the rocky way
Towards the river's greenish-grey.
She laid her clothes upon the rocks
A shirt – her knickers – pair of socks
But – lo behold! – the best by far
A tasty black lace M&S bra.
The Gunsa Khola keen to munch
(a lonely boot was all since lunch)
Espied her clothing from afar
And – joy of joys! – a black lace bra.
The river smiled and smacked its lips
It visualised a plate of chips
The one dish it had never tried
French fries, with brassiere on the side.
Our maiden scrubbed until she shone
And then when she was nearly done
Reached out to clasp her underwear
Oblivious to a mighty roar
That grew and grew until at last
A cunning wave drew from her grasp
The finest prize – her black lace bra
A trophy from Kangchenjunga!!
The maid she screamed – she cursed – she yelled
(but thankfully no longer smelled)
Her fellow trek mates gathered round
Assuming she had almost drowned
And found the waters back to norm
But then – oh no! – the bra was gorn!
A cry arose: 'Alas alack!
Not that one! Not my only black!'
But – strange to say – the river's taste
Did not extend to fancy lace
From now on plain fare would suffice
A fleece or two – some boiled rice.
The bra spat out and hurtling south
So swift towards the river's mouth
Where – perhaps – a new life met
As an exotic fishing net
(It would I guess look rather odd
Each cup stuffed full of prawns and cod.)
A warning then to trekkers fair
Keep tight hold on your underwear
Because the one thing no one knows
Is why the Gunsa eats your clothes!
